From the Gospel of one Thaddeus, called by Goliath as an apostle of Yeshua,
“to the Cretans first, and also to the Parthians.”
As it was written:
Lucifer, slowly-begotten son of the Most High,
born before time, along with the divine Word, his twin.
But who fell from his throne,
dragging down with him a third of all spiritual principles
in a fateful trip to the terrestrial level.
There, they went unto the “daughters of men.”
Indeed, Lucifer went unto Ur-Sarai.
The most comely of all daughters of men.
She lived upon the plain of Zoar.
Ur-Sarai became heavy with child.
But 40 days before the appointed time, the foetus died,
becoming an abortion, a thing abhorrent unto the LORD.
And the people of Zoar cast this abomination outside the city gates,
the refuse pile.
Now around this time,
a new race was appointed amongst the sons and daughters of men;
they were called the nephilim.
And, contrary to both nature and law, a young man of the nephilim
–that race produced by the unnatural copulation
of the sons of God and daughters of man–
the strongest man-child of them all,
crawled to the refuse pile, to Gehenna.
And there he feasted upon* the remains of Ur-Sarai’s child.
Although he knew it not it at the time, he ate unto his own magnification,
for this eating brought upon him a mighty spiritual power.
And all the people of Zoar, and the ten cities surrounding it,
were full of fear for this mighty man.
His name was Goliath.
After the LORD separated the nations,
Goliath became a mighty man of Philistia.
One of the books of the Jews contains a tale of the very same Goliath,
during his 1,212th year.
The books of the Jews claim that a mighty king among them slew this Goliath.
But in fact, Goliath was not dead,
but was sleeping.
For on the third day, he arose and fled to the desert.
Goliath wandered the wilderness for countless years.
Because he did not grow old, like a mere mortal,
he remained in the noonday of strength even in his 3,636th year.
In the eighth month of his 3,636th year,
Goliath enlisted in the Roman army which was occupying Judea.
He abandoned his Philistine name,
trading the truth for a falsehood,
and became known throughout Judea as “Pantheros,” the panther.
Pantheros the Centurion terrorized the Jewish people.
The men among the Jews, in particular, hated Pantheros.
But their women cherished him in their hearts,
for he possessed a strength unknown amongst their peoples.
One night Pantheros went unto a young woman named Miriam,
who had been betrothed to Joseph of Nazareth.
And a child was conceived,
and he was named Yeshua bar Pantheros.
Yeshua was a mighty man who performed miraculous signs and wonders.
These works are recorded in the books known as “gospel.”
In his 33rd year, Yeshua was arrested by the Romans, and taken outside the city gates.
There was he crucified, and pierced in the side by his very own father,
Pantheros the Centurion.
The father delighted in the death of his own son,
and gloried in the blood sacrifice thereby produced.
Upon piercing the side of his son, Pantheros exclaimed,
“Truly this is the son of [a] god.”
Yeshua was taken for dead, and cast upon gehenna,
that refuse pile of old.
There his spiritual substance was mingled
with the spiritual substance of that very abortion
conceived by Lucifer and Ur-Sarai,
and which his father, Pantheros the Centurion,
had eaten nearly four millenia before.
After three days of troubled sleep,
the LORD appointed a great earthquake.
and woke Yeshua from his nap.
Leaving gehenna, Goliath was appointed
to wander in the wilderness for forty aeons,
and was thus declared immortal, like his father before him.
As medieval legends developed about this “wandering Jew,”
he became a source of terror to the men, and pleasure to their women.
But one day, Goliath the Centurion will once more slay his son, Yeshua,
in a sacrifice of atonement for the entire world.
* Other mss. read “knew” here.