Eating Excreta, or Consuming Theological Education in America

Two students were out walking one evening on a university campus, also known as Universitas.

The first student, who loved to be called Teacher, called to the other: “Look! There’s an eminent scholar speaking in the bowels of our school and only a few have been invited, but we’re among them. Put on your best outfit and come to this talk. If we go, we’ll no doubt be seen by all the other teachers here. Our attendance will be noted and we may even be allowed to speak. If you come, I’ll introduce you to the most pinguid of them. You must meet the one who runs the Center at the state university!”

This one who loved to be called Teacher also loved money and the comforts of suburban life. Not only was he raised in a mall, but he also taught at a for-profit institution and loved to boast about his station.

The second student acknowledged that the first was speaking, but didn’t respond immediately, for he was weighing his reply carefully.

After a few moments he answered, “Friend, I’m going to the Supper this evening instead of rushing to the garbage heap. If I’m going to be a vermin, I’d rather nibble on the Host with the Most, than be one of these vultures trying to take a bite out of the Shit Pie.”